Summer (Not So) Fast

"It's the noise that destroys."

-- Scott Jurek

I thought I knew what that meant when I first heard it a month ago, but I didn't. Not until last Saturday.

The beginning of runs are rarely fun for me. During that first 3 or 4 km when the body first thrown out of its comfortable seditary state, before the body has become accustom to feet pounding pavement (or preferably grass), and before the shirt has been thoroughly soaked through, the mind play tricks on you. It interprets the sensation from the body as pain and question the logic of the excercise. At least for me, this is usually a prerequisite to the clarity of mind I crave in the middle of a good run. I have generally been able to fight pass these tricks the mind tries to play on me. Different strategies work at different time. "I'm going to be late if I stop". "I have to chase down those damn windmills". "Hmmm... I think she's looking at me". Or simply, "This will end. It will feel good soon. It always does." None of these worked on Saturday. In retrospect, it was because I did such a great job at convincing myself the day before that:

I wasn't going to run SummerFast.

My knee had bugged for the last 2 weeks. However during the subsequent 3 or 4 runs since it peaked, it didn't get worse. In fact the run last Wednesday was felt fantastic. For the first time I was able to catch Dave and his posse. I have been able keep them in sight for the last few weeks, but I have never caught them, and certainly never ran with them. But last Wednesday I caught up with them half way through the run and stayed with them (until they hit that gear with a km to go and started pulling away again, but let's not focus on that). It felt good. And better yet, the knee held up. Maybe I didn't need that physio appointment the next day after all.

Then I went to my ultimate game after the run.

Typical play. Jumping up for the disc. Catching the disc. Landing with the disc. Sharp pain in the knee? Knee buckling? Crumbling to the ground like a little girl? Not so typical play. I guess I do need that physio appointment. Irony's a bitch.

"You pissed off your Patellar tendon", she said. Her diagnosis pretty much match what Michael and Brian said. Weak hip and glutes makes my knee rotate inward on impact, putting unnecessary strain on the tendon. My tight quads and hamstrings pulling on the tendon also didn't help. Apparently Mr. Patellar is a sensitive little bastard. Prescription? Squats, just as Michael and Brian suggested. I should have saved the 70 bucks. Ok, she did suggest a couple of other excercises, and the ultrasound seemed to helped too. It felt good to know what it was and how to fix it.

Then I went to my (other) ultimate game after physio.

Actually the game went pretty well. The knee actually loosened up during the game. However it was pretty sore after and the next day despite the ice, so I decided to not run SummerFast. I convinced myself it wasn't worth it, and may as well rest up and save the knee for the long run on Sunday. SummerFast was a diversion. The fun little loop around Second Beach pool. It wasn't the goal. Focus on the goal.

I wasn't going to run SummerFast. It's done. I've decided. I even annouced it on Twitter. And Twitter is always the final word, right?

Since a bunch of people from the clinic was running SummerFast, and I paid my $30, I was going to go cheer them on, take some pictures, eat their food, and pocket some post race swag (btw, there are no swag at SummerFast! I guess the Longest Day is just special?!?). I rolled in on my bike 10 minutes before the race started. Hey, the race package pickup booth is still open, may as well pick up my number right? And oh, the gear check tent is right there...and the nice lady is waving me over telling me "there's still time, just give me your bag and I'll check it for you"

Ok, I guess I'm going to do SummerFast.

I finished the race in 46:13. I wasn't disappointed at the time (ok, I was a lot disappointed, I ran my Sun Runs faster than that B.R.C [Before Running Clinic]), but I was very disappointed at how I did it. I had done such a good job telling myself the reasons I shouldn't be running the race that they were all I could think about for the first 3km of the race. I wasn't mentally prepared to run, let alone race. (Come to think of it, I wasn't physically prepared to run either having not loosen up, which probably made it hurt some more.) So after the first km or so when the mind games started all I could think about was the reasons why I shouldn't be there, instead of the reasons why I should.

And then I stopped running.

For that first time in a timed race, I stopped running. In fact I stopped 3 times. Yes, the knee hurt, but looking back it honestly wasn't that bad. My mind just wasn't in it. My mind was so out of it, the laces from my right shoe just keep getting undone because apparently I didn't even know how to tie a simply knot properly anymore. I even started taking off my number shortly after hitting the Vancouver Rowing club. (As an aside, I feel completely ridiculous writing this after reading Dave's Scorched Sole 50 miler race report). Wow, was this how SummerFast going to end for me? With the walk of shame?

Then the aforementioned Jurek quote came back to me. And then another saying from those hippie yoga instructors popped into my head: "If you're struggling, breath through it. Focus on your breathing." And finally: "I hate to have to blog about NOT finishing SummerFast AFTER starting it". Ok, let's start running again.

The next 2km was pretty ugly, but having decided that I was going to finish helped. Pocketing my glasses (I really wasn't going to run, so no contacts) and only seeing fuzzy blobs helped. Focusing on my breathing definitely helped. Then something magically happened between the 5 and 6 km marker. My knee stopped hurting.

I'm pretty sure the pain was still there, because it was there after I crossed the finish line. But for the last 4 km, I felt no pain in that knee. The stride felt normal and I started to reel people in. The last 4km felt fast, but more importantly it was fun (hmmm.. fast == fun?). The sprint to the finish was a blast with fresh legs from all that gold bricking during the start. I finally got a negative split I guess.

And what isn't a race report without a bit of post race soul searching... long list this time. Sigh.

The moments of zen from the Summer[really-slow-at-the-beginning-but-then-it-turned-kinda]Fast 2010:

1) The mind can be weaker than you think, or stronger than you think. It is about how you approach whatever you're facing and how you prepare for it.

2) "Run or don't run, there is no try". Especially in a race, because it will hurt in a race. It always does. If you give your mind excuses, it will use them.

3) Re: "Run or don't run...". When in doubt, run.

4) Scott Jurek knows what he's talking about regarding running ... surprising for a man who can only run 267km in 24 hours.

5) For the next 10 km race I run, I'm just going to run 5 km before starting the damn race.

The next day was Sunday and the Running Room's long run took us around the waters of Vancouver. I ran and chatted with Tom for a large section of the course. We were apparently pretty engrossed in our conversation because we missed Third Beach, our turnaround point, completely. We were also apparently pretty bad in our knowledge of Stanley Park because we didn't realized we missed Third Beach until we saw it... on the way back. Great job by Tom and Andy (another fellow clinic member with suspect navigational skills) who both finished smiling back at the deserted Running Room after the run. The extra distance without carrying any gels meant that by the end of the run I was pretty zonked. But the lessons from yesterday ran through my head, and the legs kept moving. That made me felt better about Saturday.

It felt good doing a little bit of repenting on Sunday. Maybe church isn't so bad.

P.S. Great times by fellow clinic runners during SummerFast. Ken (not from the clinic but close enough) broke 39 minutes. Amelia got a PB and a medal while hung over (I took a picture [of the medal, not the hung-over-ness], will post shortly). And Carolyn and Allison both didn't run as fast as they had wanted to but the important thing was they looked good doing it. Plus some great looking times by newly discovered clinic members Jason and Kristine. I really will show up one of these Thursdays.